Almost ten percent of our people didn’t show up to work today.”“That sucks,” Mike said.“I thought it was a little too easy to find a parking space today,” Sanjay said with a sad smile. He was very disappointed by the behavior of his coworkers.Nodding his head, Dale said, “On top of that, we suspended a bunch of agents this morning.”Surprised by that little piece of news, Mike looked up and asked, “Why?”“The Assistant Director decided that employees of the agency who were sending their families overseas couldn’t be trusted with our national security. If they weren’t willing to face the risks like everyone else, then they didn’t belong in the agency,” Dale answered.“Good for him,” Sanjay said with a nod of his head.“I’ll let him know you said that,” Dale said with a smile.The Assistant Director had actually caught the end of Sanjay’s speech in the cafeteria the previous day. The sentiment that Sanjay had expressed had struck fertile soil.“No need,” Sanjay said blushing.Laughing at. Somewhere in the back of your mind or the smallest crevice of your heart, those feelings sit and fester inevitably leading to an explosion. If you refuse to let them have any effect on your emotions, deny them altogether, then they cease to exist. Leaving you a cold yet stable individual.Its addicting to cease emotions. It makes life much easier but becomes a horrible habit. I know that eventually it will lead to falling out of love, losing the spark that once moistened my panties on contact. So I am left with the decision of which is worse? Feeling everything, powerfully, to the point of breaking myself, or feeling absolutely nothing and changing this magnetic love to nothing but piston sex, the parts moving but no real pleasure being found.And I know it will only get worse. The cute date nights turn to awkward silences. Hotel reservations get cancelled. We only say things to each other through texting, not real words in real life. My newest rule is if we can’t say it out loud, then.
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